Down the road I go (trying not to turn into a popsicle even though I have a portable heater strapped to my back)

Behind this quite lengthy title hides a growing feeling of despair : it’s only October and already I fear of losing my fingers on the way to the Uni. And to think that a lecturer had the nerve of telling us that England is a nice warm place thanks to the Gulf Stream… I swear I’ll Gulf Stream your face if you say ‘warm’ one more time. Try living in France for 20 years then coming here.

Yet cold is nothing compared to rain. But so far, so good. Apparently if you have early lectures, rain hasn’t had the time to enjoy a coffee and the Times that you’re already back in your room. Though I have to admit, avoiding rain all the time I feel like I’m missing out on something. I was told it’s not really England if you don’t get splashed from head to toe by a bus on a stormy Monday at least once. As if you went all the way to Japan and forgot to stop for a drink at Fukushima. Would be a shame, right ? Hehe… no.

Typical Monday morning on Oxford Road
Typical Monday morning on Oxford Road

Ok, I covered weather, let’s see… I think I’ll just have a quick rant about food then complain about taking the bus for a couple of lines, then we can move on to business and talk about music and have some fun with words.

What is it with Rice, Pasta and Potatoes ? Potatoes is okay, I just saw him 2 hours ago and he was really sweet, he even said we’d meet tomorrow again for dinner. But come on, don’t tell me you don’t find Rice a bit obnoxious ? I mean, he’s always here when Potatoes and I are hanging, and the other day he even brought Pasta (who’s a complete slut, she still had cheese all over her from the night before). Plus, every time Rice is around, Salad just makes a long face and ends up leaving – I think they have some kind of beef. What ? No, Beef is alright, he’s cool. Well, he’s always a bit cold when he’s at the table but that’s not so bad. Seriously though, I think tomorrow I’m telling Potatoes to dump Rice and Pasta. I can’t stomach the three of them together anymore.

On to buses. Almost there folks, almost there. Buses are my arch-enemies, I cannot keep my footing while riding them. Every time the doors close, I think to myself ‘Okay, here we go. Remember it’s just about hanging tightly to the JESUS F. CHRIST I’M FALLING WHAT THE’ Every. Goddamn. Time. I think my center of gravity just says ‘Fuck it, I’m outta here’ and rushes to my head, where he can create the biggest imbalance possible. I hang on, slowly walk sideways trying to reach a handrail and stick the whole length of my trembling body to it. But no HERE IT GOES AGAIN SLIPPERY MOTHERF-

Bottom line, I look like the world’s worst pole dancer. On ice.

On to music : yesterday we had a great moment with Spain’s greatest pianist Roke Cepeda trying to come up with a groovy version of In the Hall of the Mountain King. You know, the one that goes ‘Ta ta ta ta ta ta ta, tatata, tatata’. No ?

 

Yeah, this one. Now picture one mad Basque pianist slapping the shit out of his keys and a crazed French guitarist playing a funky riff at the same time. You’ve got yourself one great musical moment. Almost worth playing on a shitty amplifier that goes ‘WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-‘ every 2 minutes.

And to conclude, a piece of knowledge, wrapped in humor. Today we learn about the zeugma, a nice little figure of speech that consists in joining different parts of a sentence by a single word (usually a verb). I love it for its comic potential : joining two completely, blatantly, stupidly different words with one verb makes for some solid laugh material. It’s easy for me to make them up in French : ‘Il reprit ses esprits et une pinte de Guinness’. But English ones are a bit more complicated. Oh, what the hell, let’s try one. ‘She screwed the exams and her teacher’.

Oh mysogyny, thou art a heartless bitch.

– – –

Coming soon : the recipe for the Cat sauce Grand-Veneur ; one hundred and one reasons to drop your current degree for Biochemistry ; an origami nun ; gloomy autumn poetry ; lots of beautiful pictures ; even more false promises ; yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.

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2 réflexions sur “Down the road I go (trying not to turn into a popsicle even though I have a portable heater strapped to my back)”

  1. Pff you’re sooo funny. I think you got it, even in English, you’re totally hilarious =D
    « Winter is coming » (Game of Thrones), well at least if there was snow so that we could make snowballs and snowmen it would be fun… I can’t stand the cold by itself. But don’t worry, in France we’re getting the same rainy greyish weather as you do by now. And it’s only the beginning… Ok Ok I must admit I’m a little tough on French weather, at this very moment i’m sitting at my desk in front of the window and there’s actually a blue cloudy sky and some sun rays. But I don’t buy it, that’s a trap, it’s been the same during a week and every single day rain won the final battle… I only hope we get a rainbow this time !
    And also, because you know I LOVE literature (and that’s not even a joke !), I can’t help commenting upon zeugma. Of course what you didn’t know (and probably didn’t want to know ;D but I’ll tell you anyway mouhahahaaaa) is that zeugma is actually my favourite figure of speech along with chiasmus =) I’m pretty good at finding them and I used to be one of the few pupils in my high school class who knew what it meant (heyhey I spent time learning the list by heart). And I agree with you, it’s a lee wee bit trickier in English since French and English zeugma are not exactly built the same way,.. Got a funny one for you from Flaubert, here you go : « Il admirait l’exaltation de son âme et les dentelles de sa jupe ». Good one, huh ?
    Well, I guess that’s all for now
    Enjoy your day, week, weekend, whatever, enjoy and that’s all =) xx Marion

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